Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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