Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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