I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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