i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
