Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize