How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
