I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
