I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just gift wrapped bread.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
