My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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