lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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