fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
