I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
