Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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