The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
