You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
