Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
