Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
