you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
