I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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