Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
