erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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