Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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