Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
