you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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