This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Less talking, more tequila
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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