Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How's work?
Spinning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
