Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
