Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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