he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
