Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize