Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
