Already got asked if we're dating
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
