So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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