Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You can't just leave with hair like that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
