There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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