What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
