well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
