Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
