Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
