It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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