i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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