am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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