Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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