What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
