He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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