Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
