You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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