Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
