Umm I'm too high to move.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
my poor anus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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