I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
