Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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