i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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