Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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