To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
