I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
