Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
