Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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