come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
