one two three fourrrrnication!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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