I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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