I'm jealous of your bromance
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
