We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
