how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize