And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
