Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
