I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
